My father is on a waiting-list for a heart transplant. He just went for a regular checkup and besides the outcome of the checkup (slowly declining condition but overall OK) he also heard that he is getting close to the top of the list!
Now the countdown starts to become more real. It is a countdown with an uncertain end. Could be tomorrow. Could be another 5 months before the operation.
Another uncertainty is: will the transplant be successful?
I am normally very optimistic but sometimes I worry that I don’t worry enough. There is this weird feeling that it is going to be all-right and that after the operation he will be able to lead a perfectly normal life again. I am saying ‘weird’ because there are (fairly big) risks involved so maybe I shouldn’t be so optimistic.
There are basically two clear risks: 1. No donor becomes available before he becomes too weak for the operation. 2. He doesn’t survive the operation.
As far as I can tell my father and his wife are taking it well: Not focussing on the potential terminal outcome but rather making plans for the life afterwards.
The attitude so far has been similarly positive: So he has to take naps frequently, so what? Plenty that still can be done. A whole cobblestone footpath was laid in the garden row-by-row over many days. (Something that normally could be done in a couple of hours.) They even went to France for a month to their house that still needed furniture to be put in.
I think I will get more nervous as time progresses and definitely when I get the call that there is a donor (typically 4 hours before the operation) at which point I will jump in my car and drive to The Netherlands. By the time I arrive at the hospital the operation should just be over.
It may be a good thing to be positive and not too nervous and not let worries rule your life.
We’ll see what happens.